Living the asexual life

I'm the most asexual person you will ever meet

2 notes

galdapjunior:

I hate it when people oversimplify discrimination against asexuals and try to make it look like some silly thing. And it’s like. No. Our problems are so much more than some asshole saying “Stop not having sex!.” Don’t pretend that’s all we have to fucking deal with.

24 notes

sydthesquyd:

Asexual Etiquette # 31:

Do not tell an asexual it’s a shame that they’re asexual.

  1. Do not tell an asexual it’s a shame that they’re asexual.
  • Do not tell an asexual it’s a shame that they’re asexual.

Do not tell an asexual it’s a shame that they’re asexual.

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Anonymous asked: sometimes i wonder if i'm REALLY asexual...i don't experience sexual attraction at all, no, but i was abused as a child, so sometimes i wonder if it stems more from that and the fact that i've never gotten any kind of therapy for it, instead of being natural to me? i don't know. i'm definitely not interested on sex at all and am actually freaked out when thinking of it when applied to ME, so...i don't know. of course all aces were abused, but i was, so i guess i don't know if that was the reason

life-of-an-asexual:

it doesn’t matter what the reason is, if you don’t feel sexual attraction then you can call yourself asexual. just because it may be from your abuse, doesn’t make it invalid. here are some posts on the subject

~Mod Q

5 notes

New Paper - Asexuality and Disability: Strange but Compatible Bedfellows - Online First - Springer

asexualitystudies:

While the disability sexuality movement has long tried to distance itself from the usually incorrect assumption that people with disabilities are asexual, the growing asexuality visibility and education movement argues for recognition of asexuality—the lifelong, non-distressing absence of sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender—as a legitimate and non-pathological sexual orientation. Despite these seemly contradictory goals, however, both movements are representative of the movements of historically marginalized and medicalized groups towards greater acceptance and understanding. Accordingly, this article will begin with a brief discussion of theories and terminology related to asexuality in the general population. The remainder of the article will discuss (1) the history of asexuality as a forced assumption of people with disabilities; (2) intersectionality as it relates to asexuality and disability; and (3) the similarities between the asexuality and disability sexuality movements. Suggestions for future research are also provided.

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Anonymous asked: I'm demisexual/romantic, but only ever attracted to girls. Would it be wrong to wear an ace ring? Also, does it sound more accurate to use ace/demi or gay as an identity? I know to go with what's comfortable, but I can't decide. What's your opinion?

theasexualityblog:

Personally, I believe that demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum so I don’t see an issue with a demisexual wearing an ace ring. But, if you aren’t sure whether you are comfortable with it, or if you just want to differentiate a bit, maybe do a purple ring instead of a black one. The purple in the ace flag is for demisexuality, so claim that color if it makes you feel more comfortable. 

The label thing is really up to you, since you’re the one who has to live with it, but if it were me, I’d probably go with either demisexual homoromantic (I’m assuming you identify as female since you mentioned gay being an option and you’re attracted to girls. Please forgive me if I read that incorrectly.) or demisexual demiromantic if you want to make the determination that you only experience romantic attraction once the strong bond is established. To me, saying you’re gay implies a straightforward homosexual orientation, and that could be misinterpreted, so I’d be wary in using that unless I actually identified as homosexual. Again, though, that’s just my opinion and is in no way the standard. 

35 notes

life-of-an-asexual:

i’m going to answer these two together, since they’re similar. i hope you don’t mind
first, i am so sorry you are feeling this way. it is a terrible awful feeling, to think you’re broken and wrong about your identity, and to feel like no one can understand you, and to not have your feelings taken seriously
it is a very difficult world to be asexual in. when we are bombarded by sexuality from when we’re very young, when we’re told that any notion of asexuality is abnormal
but you are not broken. you are not wrong. what you feel is valid, regardless of what others say. you are complete and whole exactly as you are. your worth is not dependent on feeling sexual attraction
unfortunately, there will always be people who will try to invalidate you, who will try to make you feel bad about yourself. and they’re assholes, but their words can still hurt, especially when they come from people we love
and of course, we’d all have it easier if we were straight. but we can’t change who we are or how we feel. we just have to do our best to love and accept ourselves as we are. and it’s hard. it’s hard to love yourself when the world tells you’re not worth loving
but you are. you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be happy, you deserve respect, you deserve to live your life feeling confident in your identity
and you’re not alone. even if it feels like it, even if it feels like there’s no one in the world who understands you. you know, over three thousand people follow this blog now. that’s three thousand people right here who feel just like you do, who share your pain, who have felt just as lost and isolated as you, myself included
and it will take time. it takes immeasurable strength and courage to accept yourself and to love yourself, when the world is made to work against you. i don’t have an easy answer for you; i wish i did
it will be long hard work to accept yourself, and there will be bad days, and you’ll want to give up a million times. and it’s fine, however long it takes you, because it’s a struggle. but the world is wrong, and anyone who tries to make you feel bad about yourself is wrong
and if you ever want to talk, we can do so privately off-anon. i am here, if ever need me. i wish you all the strength in the world
~Mod Q

life-of-an-asexual:

i’m going to answer these two together, since they’re similar. i hope you don’t mind

first, i am so sorry you are feeling this way. it is a terrible awful feeling, to think you’re broken and wrong about your identity, and to feel like no one can understand you, and to not have your feelings taken seriously

it is a very difficult world to be asexual in. when we are bombarded by sexuality from when we’re very young, when we’re told that any notion of asexuality is abnormal

but you are not broken. you are not wrong. what you feel is valid, regardless of what others say. you are complete and whole exactly as you are. your worth is not dependent on feeling sexual attraction

unfortunately, there will always be people who will try to invalidate you, who will try to make you feel bad about yourself. and they’re assholes, but their words can still hurt, especially when they come from people we love

and of course, we’d all have it easier if we were straight. but we can’t change who we are or how we feel. we just have to do our best to love and accept ourselves as we are. and it’s hard. it’s hard to love yourself when the world tells you’re not worth loving

but you are. you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be happy, you deserve respect, you deserve to live your life feeling confident in your identity

and you’re not alone. even if it feels like it, even if it feels like there’s no one in the world who understands you. you know, over three thousand people follow this blog now. that’s three thousand people right here who feel just like you do, who share your pain, who have felt just as lost and isolated as you, myself included

and it will take time. it takes immeasurable strength and courage to accept yourself and to love yourself, when the world is made to work against you. i don’t have an easy answer for you; i wish i did

it will be long hard work to accept yourself, and there will be bad days, and you’ll want to give up a million times. and it’s fine, however long it takes you, because it’s a struggle. but the world is wrong, and anyone who tries to make you feel bad about yourself is wrong

and if you ever want to talk, we can do so privately off-anon. i am here, if ever need me. i wish you all the strength in the world

~Mod Q

39 notes

Anonymous asked: I just got an asexual girlfriend. She is a wonderful girl, and we talked about boundries, (cuddles, dates, and making out) and I totally respect her. I was wondering if you have any advice to dating an asexual?

life-of-an-asexual:

just treat her like she’s a person, and always make sure to be aware of and respect her boundaries; that stands for any relationship. make sure to be careful of your language, so that you don’t accidentally invalidate her identity; we’re socialized to believe that experiencing sexual attraction is the default and the only way to be normal, so these things get internalized and it’s easy to accidentally say things that are dismissive or erasive of asexual people’s experiences

so, listen to her, if she tells you that you’ve messed up, even if you may think at first that it’s a silly thing. make sure to support her with anyone she’s out with, and don’t out her to anyone she’s hasn’t told yet—it’s for a reason. call people out when they say acephobic things, and not just when she’s present. make sure to educate yourself about asexuality; you shouldn’t rely on her solely for that

and that’s what i’ve got. if you have any more questions, feel free to ask. you should always ask her first, because hers is the opinion that matters most in this case; unless you think your question may be offensive, then run it by an ace-blog like this first

~Mod Q